"Oooh, baby. Will you look at that!"

"Huh?" Greg looked up and followed Richard's gaze, "Yeah, pretty," he shrugged.

"Pretty? She's gorgeous man. I mean, look at her..."

"Yes, yes, I saw. What's your point?"

Richard looked at Greg askance. "What do you mean, what's my point? She is my point."

"Let me guess," Greg said, "And you want to give her yours, yes?"

"Well, duh," Richard replied, trying to look offended. "You say that like it's a bad thing. Quick, shush, she's coming this way."

Greg sighed and turned back to the water machine.

"Hi," came an overly cheerful Richard, "you must be new."

"Indeed," said a soft, irish voice, "which presumably would make you old, yes?" There was a short stunned pause, then, "And you are Greg, I believe."

Greg had never personally snorted hot tea, but he imagined it must be highly unpleasant, and indeed Richard did appear to be in considerable discomfort. Greg almsot felt sorry for him, though he was forced to admit the highly amusing aspect also.

Green eyes, perched upon high cheeks, watched a flustered Richard hurry away, and thin lips turned up into a cruel grin as he disappeared from view. Red hair framed them all, before washing down a pale, slender neck.

Greg watched her carefully. Something about her made him nervous. "So, aside from new, who are you?" he asked eventually.

The cruel grin flickered, replaced by a smile full of warmth. "Sophie. I start today in your section, and Paul suggested you show me the ropes."

Greg frowned. Why would his manager recommend him? He had the distinct impression he wasn't on Paul's list of favourites. Why would he provide him with what was effectively a day off work?

Whatever. No doubt he would get the answer soon enough. "Right, then. I guess we'd better start. This is the drinks machine. It is a selfless thing, eagerly providing life-giving water, and emergency shots of caffeine when your brain is dribbling out your ear."

Sophie giggled. "Thanks, I think. I have a feeling I'll never look at these machines the same way again."

Greg couldn't help but smile back. "Just wait until you meet the overhead projector. We have a long history, it and I."

"Really? Do tell."

Greg took a deep breath. "It started a few years back. Some important changes in the company, lots of meetings, the usual boring crap. Never listened, never cared. During that time, the overhead projector became the only thing keeping me going. Have you ever stopped to admire its beauty?"

"No. I can't say I have."

Greg shook his head. "Neither do most people. But, when I started watching it carefully, saw how much it did. Working tirelessly, never complaining. I realised how unappreciated it was. Just sitting there, working hard." He shrugged. "Maybe it noticed the interest I was showing in it, maybe it was lonely, I don't know. We started flirting. Never much you understand, it was never very outgoing. And I suppose we both realised it could never go anywhere."

Sophie put a hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh too loudly. Greg looked at her sternly. "I'm not going to tell you my personal affairs if you're just going to laugh." Sophie managed to fake seriousness long enough to apologise, and Greg continued.

"You know what work can be like. Boring, lonely hours, sometimes long after anyone else has gone home. I guess we both needed the company. I'd stand there, flicking it on and off, watching the warm glow that resulted. Sometimes it would show me pictures, throw them up on the wall in uncommon displays of immodesty."

"Sounds like it got pretty serious" Sophie said, a smile barely repressed behind her lips.

"Yeah," Greg nodded sadly, "it did. Until one fateful night, when it caught me getting steamy with the kettle." Sophie giggled again, and Greg looked hurt. "Please, it was very embarrasing. But anyway, since then, the projector has never glowed for me."

A voice drifted over a cubicle wall. "That's because the bulb's blown, you idiot."

"See," said Greg, "I broke it's heart."

"Oh, funny. Real funny," replied the mystery voice.

"I'm laughing," Sophie said.

"Give it a week, then see if you're still laughing."

"I'll give you a kick in the..."

"Much as I appreciate the defense, Sohpie, threatening bodily harm to the IT manager on your first day at work is not conducive to long-term employ. Besides, I'm used to others not having the humour endurance levels I have."

Anger to angelic to teasing, Sophie's face danced to a quick progression of emotions that Greg found rather disconcerting. She rested a hand on his arm. "Good endurance, huh? Is that all kinds of endurance?"

Greg paused, the sudden and overt suggestion catching him unawares. "I wouldn't know," he said, before walking past her back to his desk.

Sophie followed, undeterred. "Want to find out?"

"No," Greg sighed. "Don't bother. Really. Don't try the, 'I like a man with a sense of humour' thing. I've met enough girls to know that one's bullshit."

He saw Sophie flinch in surprise and anger. "Where the hell did all this angst come from? So much for your everlasting humour. You can't even handle a little playful flirting."

"Flirting is not a problem. When it's subtle."

"I was being subtle."

"You might want to look the word up in a dictionary. I don't think it means what you think it does." Greg took a deep breathe, calming as the air filled his lungs. "I assume you're trying to be friendly. Ingratiate yourself on your first day. Great plan. Wrong guy. I don't work that fast."

"We've noticed."

Greg ignored the comment as he struggled for a way to explain. "To me, that comes across as shallow, as if I'm just being used. I'm not saying you are. But it sets off alarms in my head." Why was he so annoyed? "Look, I'm sorry. I don't normally get so wound up. It's not you. I...I guess I'm just tired."

Sophie was struggling with her temper. It seemed to be an aggressive creature that often escaped, and was not taking kindly to her attempts to leash it. "Right. Fine." She paused again, visibly finding it an effort tp be polite. "Guess we still have a lot to learn about each other." Greg looked up, confused at her choice of words. "So, lunch? I need to learn where's good for food round here too."

Just a little bewildered, Greg sat back in his chair. Something did not feel right. Why was Sophie so determined to be friendly? It had been a long time since his last abortive attempt at female companionship, and Sophie was undeniably attractive. It just felt wrong, in a way Greg could not describe.

"You know, if I was paranoid, I'd think you were asking me out."

Sohpie raised an eyebrow, and smiled a smile full of innocence, all trace of annoyance gone.

Greg shivered.